Ed, Edd, n Eddy the next Gen 13:Tag yer Ed
by fire dragon 2000
Summary: Edd is a huge wimp, so the others put him through a training circuit. Things don't really go off the rails until they get him to wrestle...
1. Not before breakfast

Chapter 1

**Not before breakfast...**

"Yum yum yum..."

"CHUNKY PUFFS!" the others yelled. Today the Eds and Metaknight were eating breakfast at Ed's place.

"Oohh, a prize!" Eddy yelled as he grabbed the box.

"What is it?" Ed grabbed the box."_Low in fat._ Cool!"

"Don't wreck your brain Ed! Ya gotta know where to look!" Eddy searched through the box.

"Gimme my fat!" Ed jumped on top of Eddy.

"Now now children settle down." Metaknight said.

Ed kept searching through the box."Ohh look. No fat, but I got an Eddy prize!"

"Yeah, well I got this super stuffed MARSHMALLOW SURPRISE!" Eddy shoved a cylinder shaped marshmallow down Ed's throught.

"You should chew your food Ed." Edd said.

"Any time you feel like letting me go lumpy I'd really-" Ed dropped Eddy to the ground with a thud.

_Later..._

"Allow me to pour your milk." Edd said.

"It was such an honor for you all to introduce me to this breakfast cereal." Meatknight said.

"I love chunky puffs!" Eddy said. But when Edd poured the milk, a white glob came out."I hate chunky milk."

"I know where we can find new milk!" Ed yelled.

_Later..._

The group went over to Rolf's farm. Ed came with a bucket.

"Are you sure about this Ed?" Eddy questioned.

"You do realize this is breaking and entering." Metaknight said.

"Oh yeah! I've seen Rolf do it before. It's easy!"

Soon the group went into the shed where the cow was.

"I'm not sure this is legal." Edd shuddered.

"Sure it is!" Eddy walked up to the cow."Cows are public property. Like trees... so, how's it work?"

"Uh, Rolf did some stuff and milk came out." Ed said rather unsure.

"How hard could it be?" Eddy went up to the cow's end and pushed the tail up and down."Any milk yet Ed?"

Ed's head was up the cow's nostril."Milk? Uh, not yet Eddy. AHHHH!" the cow let out a moo that shook Ed.

"AHH! It said something!" the cow's tail began flailing around.

Metaknight chuckled a bit at the sight of this."Now now. That's not how to milk a cow. To get milk, you must extract it from its udder." he pointed at the pink thing.

"I ain't touching that." Eddy said after a brief silence.

"Very well then, allow me." Metaknight said...


	2. Edd sucks

Chapter 2

**Edd sucks**

Soon, the group was eating away at the chunky puffs in a rather sloppy manner. Edd and Metaknight, however, were exeptional.

"Gracious Ed! Don't you have any manners?" Edd questioned. He grabbed a bit (one small puff) of cereal and chewed it up."May I have anoth-"

SLAM! A football came out of nowhere and hit Edd."C'mon dork, throw it over!" Kevin yelled alongside Rolf.

"Certainly Kevin! Here it comes!" Edd grabbed the ball, but when he threw it, it landed right on his head. When he tried lifting it, it just rolled over.

"Ha ha ha! You throw like a two-year old!" Kevin taunted.

"Yeah! And two-year olds arn't even good at stabbing sauseges!" Rolf added insult to injury.

"I wonder how the purple munchkin puffball does! Ha ha ha!" Kevin pointed at Metaknight.

The knight simply sighed, grabbed the ball, jumped into the air, and threw the ball so hard it knocked a dumbfounded Kevin to the ground.

"Metaknight may be good," Eddy yelled."But he's nothing compared to Edd's skills! He'll show you"

"Show me what, his Butterfly collection? Ha, ow."Kevin was still recovering.

"Yeah. And Butterflies can't stab sauseges either!" Rolf added. The two soon walked off, laughing.

"Don't yet em get away with that!" Eddy said.

"But I do have an extensive collection of Butterflies." Edd pointed out.

"What Eddy is trying to say is, you need to gain confidence." Metaknight said. And with that the group walked away.


	3. A workout to regret

**Chapter 3**

**A workout to regret**

Ed, Eddy, and Metaknight had just finished a large project. In order to get Edd to man up, they had built their own workout circuit! Of cource Metaknight was the brains behind the equipment this time.

"C'mon Edd!" Eddy said to Edd."The punching sock awaits! Let's see what's in those puny skinny sticks you call arms." he took Edd by the arm to the punching sock.

"What truly matters is your confidence, Eddward." Metaknight said.

"I'm not really comfortable with this Eddy." Edd said.

"Go on. Whak it!" Eddy said back with a smile on his face.

Edd looked at the sock, raised a fist, threw it at the sock...and ended up needing an emergangy room visit for his hand.

"Eddy, training is painful." he said.

"You're just starting to feel the burn, Edd!" Eddy said reasuringly.

"Yeah, you better get some ointment, Double-dork! HA HA HA!" Kevin said as well, much to Eddy's chargin.

"Forget him. Your Brittle bones will be as strong as steel after this!" Eddy led Edd to a treadmill.

"I could just increase my calcium inta-"

"C'mon! All you gotta do is run!"

But the moment he started running, he went quickly out of control, and was thrown off course. Kevin and Rolf laughed again.

"Forget them. This one will be easy." Eddy handed Edd a jump rope. Edd groaned."Go for it sockhead!"

Edd quickly tripped over the rope, thus earning him more ridicule.

"Oh, let's quit now! This is so embarrasing." Edd said.

"You can't quit! We're just warming up! When I'm done with you, you'll be the next Charles Cutlass supreme!" Eddy said as Edd held onto a weight.

"But Eddy, muscle expansion can cause unsightly stretch marks!" Edd said.

"Now now Edd, courage and confidence is the key." Metaknight said in an attempt to encourage him.

Edd began to lift the weight into the air, and although it seemed he would prevail, he quickly fell over. After being laughed at again, he hid his head under his hat.

"This is harder than I thought." Eddy said...


	4. Beginning of the match

**Chapter 4**

**Begining of the match**

"This will prove to everyone that Edd's a champ!" said an eccentric Eddy. He, Ed, Metaknight, and even Lucario were setting up a makeshift wrestling arena just to make Edd go from zero to hero.

"You sure about this?" Lucario questioned."I've been in these kinds of fights before, and trust me, some people get hurt to the point of near death."

"Good. So you can train him." Eddy said back.

"Let's just stick to the plan."

"Fine."

Eddy went over to an outhouse with a painted sighn with a star at the center and the words 'Masked Mumbler' around it. This was where Edd was.

"It's all set. Get out of there." Eddy said.

"Eddy, wrestling? Please." Edd said. He was wearing a red outfit with a toilet plunger on his head. In other words, he looked kinda gay. But blame the writing staff for THAT one. Anyway, Edd slamed the door shut.

"C'mon Edd. Wresting is the ultimate de-wimpifyer!" Eddy said back. No answer."Okay, don't come out. You can live there forever."

"But it smells funn-" Edd was cut off when Eddy pulled him out.

"Cool! You'll be world champion in no time!"

"I-I don't want to fight Eddy." Edd said uneasily.

"Why, this is not simply about fighting. It is about concentration and stategy." Metaknight said.

"Like chess?" Edd said hopefully.

"Exactly," Eddy said."Now, let's find you a challenging opponent..."


	5. Edd's first opponent

**Chapter 5**

**Edd's first opponent**

"Edd, we've found someone."

Upon hearing these words, Edd darted out of the outhouse.

"I'm sure you've chose someone like Jimmy, or Jonny." Edd said hopefully.

"Ehhh, not exactly." Eddy said.

When Edd saw his opponent, he nearly had a heart attack.

The opponent looked like a red and black Tyranosaurus Rex. He had huge arms and a large tail with hook like things on the end in a row. His red skin was almost plate like, and his eyes glowed of fire. This was Edd's first opponent and he was HUGE!

"This," Lucario stated."Is Groudon. The pokemon legendary of the Ground, or Earth. He was the one willing to take you on. It's alright, he isn't all that bad."

"So," the large monster stated to Edd."You're my opponent. I'll go easy on you. You give the first punch."

Edd was scared to the point of wanting to run away, but he kept his cool. However, the moment his fist came in contact with Groudon's body, he recoiled in pain.

"Uh-huh." Groudon gave Edd a small push."I don't really think you thought this through. Tell you what. I'll give you the win." and with that he left.

"AND THE WINNER IS THE MASKED MUMBLER!" Eddy shouted.

"But Eddy, I didn't even-" Edd was cut off by 3, make that 4, familiar forms...


	6. The Kankers arrive

**Chapter 6**

**The Kankers arrive**

It was the Ed's old nemisises, the Kankers and Ganondorf.

"Kankers." Eddy said bitterly.

"Ganondorf." Metaknight said the same way.

"Hey listen," Lucario went up to those maneaters."I have a feeling that you and my friends are not on good terms, and we're in the middle of helping one of them. So maybe you should come back later. As for you Ganondorf, get out or we will make you."

Their leader, Lee, simply smiled."Hmmm, well, I don't remember being scarred of some stray puppy." her cronies snickered at this.

"I must say, what exactly were you even doing?" Ganondorf said in his bitter somewhat norweigen accent."Probably rotting your own minds more than they already are."

"WER'RE WRESTLING!" Ed said with gusto.

"Wrestling, HA! I love it when you raise your eyebrows like that." Lee said to Eddy.

"Oh, you're not getting to me Lee Kanker." Eddy retaliated.

"Hmm, you are not unlike ants fighting the sun." Ganondorf said with a smile. The others laughed at this.

"I say we wrestle you!" Lee said "May and I are great at purple nurples, and the big guy here's good at punching your heads off."

"YOU'RE ON KANKERS!" Eddy yelled.

"What's a purple nurple?" Ed asked while eating Chunkey Puffs.

"I think it has something to do with stroodle filling." Edd said rather unsure.

"I will not hesitate." Metaknight said.

"Great. I'll get the other kids." Lucario said.

Well, let the but kicking begin!


	7. The battle

Chapter** 7**

**The battle**

Lucario had gathered everyone for the battle between the Eds and the Kankers.

"Those Eds are gonna get thrashed! Even the little one!" Kevin yelled from the bench.

"To be honest, I dunno who to vote for." Rayquaza said while chewing on a piece of straw.

"Welcome to the cul de sac championship!" Eddy said to the audience."Here from the other side of the lane, ya know em, ya love em, you can't live without em, THE RUMBLING EDS! And, the to be crusified Kankers."

The Kankers growled, ready for battle.

"Here's your chance Edd, get in there." Eddy said to Edd.

"But Eddy, I bruise easily." Edd said scared out of his wits.

"Your'e covered." Eddy said back with toilet paper in hand.

"Eddy, washroom clenliness won't help me now!"

"No, but these knee-pads will!" Eddy put the rolls on Edd's legs.

"COME TO MAMA!" Marie let the battle commence! Eddy threw Edd into the battlefield, with, erm, quite embarrasing results. Marie used Edd like a jumprope as she brought him down to shame.

"Edd's a goner." Eddy said as Marie finished Edd off.

"Okay that's it. Tag me, tag me, tag me!" Edd said. Ed soon filled his place.

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" Ed soon ran circles around an annoyed May.

"Give him the burn Head-Bump Ed!" Eddy yelled.

"I can't," Ed said while being assauted by kankers."Mom said I can't find girls. Tag!" Ed tagged Eddy and threw him into the arena.

"Let's kiss him!" the other Kankers said. Eddy screamed and ran away from his pusuers while Ed and Edd ate chunky puffs. Soon the Kankers gave Eddy the worst of it, as they used their unique technique to beat him down. If you want to see it in detail, check the actual episode. Soon, the Kankers tied all 3 Eds into a knot while Kevin and Rolf laughed.

"Ruffling the Eds sure is fun." Lee said.

"The battle isn't even over yet." Metaknight said.

"Indeed it isn't." Ganondorf said.

Soon, the two charged into eachother, but Metaknight jumped just in time. And in a cool slo-mo scene, he landed on Ganondorf's head, knocking out the mighty king of evil!

"Anyone else?" Metaknight asked the Kankers.

The pressure was just too much for May."No, I'm too young to die!" she wailed."The Ed's win, the Ed's win! Just don't hurt us you creepy puff ball!"

Lee and Marie shared dissapointed looks and walked away. The audience was amazed, but Kevin just shrugged (considering his history with Metaknight, how could you blame him?). The Eds were still in a knot.

"That's the knight I know!" Eddy said.

"Indeed." Metaknight said back. He then turned to Edd."Don't fret, Eddward. It is only a matter of when you grow stronger, as I learned when I was your age."

"What were you like that time?" Ed wondered while gobbling up Chunky Puffs.

"Well Ed," Metaknight stated."I was a lot like you..."

**The End.**


End file.
